By Colin Miller

With others confined to barracks by gales and flooding, your intrepid Chairperson found himself to be the only client for the Club’s 2010 Secret Clash, and at risk of having to endure a whole day of his tour leader rabbiting on about Timberline… [Tour leader’s note: Naturally, said snowfield only came into condition the day after, when thaw/freeze finally worked its magic]. Nonetheless, the forest welcomed the bold explorers with shelter from the gale and even a gradual change from driving sleet to light snow.

An archaeological diversion to the house and land of Little Blackmiddens [more on this and the nearby house of Longley next year, when the Tour Leader’s done his homework…] was followed by a quick introduction to Barndance [Sorry, Peter, precise location deliberately withheld!], which was made skiable by the essential deep snow cover, but lacking in melodic rhythm as the slight thaw made for slow downhills and inhibited the graceful turns which might otherwise have been expected.

Then the doughty duo slogged up Juniper Leap, negotiating avalanche debris from the trees, to reach the inevitable Timberline at the halfway rocks before striding north with a following wind over the open moor to the top of Highland Fling, much aided latterly by Rick’s grooming of the Haute Route.

Club Chairman during sock change

Under pressure from the entire clientele, a stop was made for lunch , when the clientele exhibited aberrant behaviour, perhaps more in anticipation of water skiing than as a result of hypothermia. It is perhaps pertinent to record that a deep and uncharted river was inadvertently discovered between trail and luncheon bench, lying in wait for those unwary enough to remove their skis.

Lunch is of course an essential in any tour, not least where inner fortification is required to run the gauntlet of Where The Bears Live [see the experiences of “three old men